Jessica-Daisy.com

I have been thinking a lot lately and it time to put words into action. My life in a nutshell.

I, a 25 young adult , am just beginning my life. I am living for me. The past few years I have been a master at juggling life for relationships, education, and family. I love my support system, but I had a problem with setting boundaries. I give too quick and I romanticize the shit out of nothing & everything. I see now that perspective can get unhealthy real quick. The optimistic mindset had me wrapped in relationships I wasn’t ready for. I feel like I could’ve gotten married twice if I had not broken up with my men at the time. Four and three-year relationships was it all for nothing? No, I learned a lot about myself. Qualities I wanted to be. Qualitiies of me I had hidden away because I didn’t want to stress or burden others with being too emotional. A boyfriend once said.

“Despite being emotional difficult, Jessica is worth it.”

Ladies and gentlemen, that was the moment I knew that boyfriend would not work out, and I was right to break off the relationship.

Another relationship with a boyfriend actually started that same Summer. Looking back, I was nervous and anxious, and I confused that with the excitement of butterflies. However, I did love him. I was able to explore part of me that I was scared to let out. In two years, that boyfriend transformed me to a fiancé. In all the major milestones we were completing together; I could name major events with the feelings of being anxious and pushing past several other emotions to feel happy. I was more depressed that I ever was and I soon settled that depression was simply a part of my personality. Something I would have to live with, afterall not everyone is happy all the time.

We all have demons were fighting daily, right?

“Are you happy?”

It got to the point where my closest friend and my mother were asking me that and very close together in the fall of 2025. In all the times I was questioned (only twice), I knew I was not happy. I was scared to actually form the words aloud. “It’s complicated,” I would say. I summarized my feelings as I am getting a handle of things for my career, fianances and finding time for bonding with my partner and dog. I shared how I difficult it was, but soon when I can balance it all I would be happy. “I would be happy soon.” That was my prayer at least. To be happy isnt that simple. I asked my partner the same question and he gave the same answer as mine. It’s complicated there’s a lot going on. Maybe we did take on too much that we could handle? Or the scarier thought, “We don’t make each other happy,” I do think my partner at the time and I had the mindset that “if we work hard enough we can be happy in the future”. Thus, forgetting that the time now in the present was precious and keen for making a happy life.

He could probably call me impatient. I was finally giving in, listening, and following through with my intuition.

It came down to this: be sad together, or be sad alone.

At least alone I knew I could be to blame if I still felt sad. There would be no one else to blame but me and I was willing to bet I couldn’t be sad forever, right? I had to find out. I had to leave.

Aside from the repertoire of my love life, I had anxiety with my career. Let’s call them commitment issues. I studied in Uni from August 2018 to December 2022. I got my first teaching position lined up for January 2023. I gave myself 29 days from graduation to prep for the real world of teaching 8th grade Science. I did that, fell in love, and encouraged my partner at the time that I would move cities to be with him if he decided to pursue higher education. We got engaged, and when it came time for the new city life, I chose to explore teaching 5th grade Dual language. That was a time. I loved community and made lifelong friends at the campus I taught at, but elementary teaching was not for me. I resonated with the guiding and inspiring middle school students. I enjoyed teaching them freedom to grow and think as adults while celebrating them in ways that embraced childhood.

I taught middle school for as long as I could in 2025, until unfortunate events led me to leave the city and return to my hometown as a single woman in my parents’ home.

The world and adventures are far from complete. Jessica’s life is only just beginning. The only question is, will this novel be a memoir or fiction? This book is yet to be named. Until then there is the Forever in romanticizing events in this large but small world.